"Where do I come from?

            Where do I come from? Well I was born in Tijuana, Baja California in 1992. My mother, Guadalupe Ruiz, was born in El Paso, Texas in 1974. My father, Jesus Labra, was born in Chihuahua, Chihuahua. I don’t know much about my father since I have recently communicated with him after so many years. However, I don’t have any type of communication with his family. My grandmother from my mom’s side past away when she was about 5 years old and therefore, she had no communication with her mom’s side of family ever since so sadly I don’t know anyone from that side of her family.

Maria Ruiz & Jose Alvarez            Martin Ruiz & Vicenta Hernandez

 (great great grandparents)                    (great great grandparents)

      Nieves Alvarez                                   Martin Ruiz

    (great grandmother)                           (great grandfather)

Trinidad Ruiz Alvarez                                                                           Maria Guadalupe Ruiz Reyes
      (grandfather)                                                                                              (grandmother)
                                         

                                                                Guadalupe Ruiz
                                                                     (mother)

            My great great grandparents, parents of my great grandmother, Maria Ruiz and Jose Alvarez were both from Batopilas, Chihuahua. My great great grandparents, parents of my great grandfather, Martin Ruiz was from General Trias, Chihuahua, and Vicenta Hernandez was from San Luis, Potosi. My great grandmother, Nieves Alvarez was also from Batopilas, Chihuahua. My great grandfather, Martin Ruiz was from Santa Eulalia, Chihuahua. My grandfather, Trinidad Ruiz Alvarez was from Santa Eulalia, Chihuahua where he lived since birth to about eleven years old; migrating to Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua at twelve years old as he prepared to migrate to the United States. My grandmother, Maria Guadalupe Ruiz Reyes was from Durango, Mexico but lived in Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahhua where she met my grandfather.

            In the year 1973 my grandparents were already married with two kids and decided to cross the border illegally for a better future. They were able to cross over to El Paso, Texas and within a year they were able to get their papers and became US citizens. The following year 1974, my mother was born here in El Paso, Texas. She met my father during the year of 1991 in Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua and ended up moving to Tijuana, Baja California which was where I was born. We stayed there for some years then moved to San Diego, California. Around the year 2002, my brothers and I came to Anthony, Texas with my mom and ever since we have been living here.

            Overall, I was glad I did this blog because I always thought my family members were all from Chihuahua, Mexico. I also enjoyed talking to my grandfather about where we come from since he was able to talk to me for hours. He enjoyed all the questions I asked him and the company spent together.  

"Gender and Sexuality: How Can I Show Up as an Ally?

         Growing up on a Mexican-American household I encountered different feelings and understandings about gender and sexuality. I grew up expecting to play with dolls since I am a female and my brothers were to play with their cars since they are males. My mother, my brothers and I lived with my grandparents for some years so we had to obey their rules. Therefore, we did as they expected, for example, if one of my brothers would play with Barbie’s with us, they would be in trouble since my grandpa would say: “esos juguetes no son de ninos si juega con munecas se va hacer nina” so I had that mentality that girls played with “girl” toys and boys with “boy” toys. My grandparents would always emphasize that our religion which was Catholic at that time did not allowed us to support the “gay” community since according to the bible and God that was not normal nor acceptable.  I was told and taught that men were created to marry women and women were to marry men because it was the right thing. 

            On the other hand, my mom would always tell us that regarding a person’s gender preference we still had to respect them and not judge them. ”A human is a human no matter what”- were my mother’s words. She was not allowed to tell us the opposite from my grandparents since we were under their roof and under their rules. So she couldn’t go against them because of respect. It wasn’t until we moved out of our grandparents’ house and everything changed. My mother gave us the opportunity to express ourselves through the religion and beliefs we wanted to; and that’s how I grew up ever since.

            It wasn’t until I became a mom and everything changed for me. For example, I started noticing how clothing and even toys are almost gender labeled. Boy clothes are all blue and dark colors and girl clothes are more pink and lighter colors. Dolls, Barbie’s, kitchen toys, house appliances toys are on the girls’ aisle. Super heroes, cars, tool toys, weapon toys, dinosaurs are all on the boys’ aisle. In other words, if you are a girl are you expected to play with the toys on that aisle and boys are expected to play with the toys around their aisle? And I became more aware of how society somehow wants us to be either or. As stated in Heidenreich (2006), “In the United States, racialized and gendered ideologies construct what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman” (p.122); which it goes back to my thinking, sadly all these ideologies we encounter have to meet our gender somehow to determine if we are a man or a woman. I struggle with this because I want to teach my kids how it shouldn’t matter. That if my little girl enjoys playing with dinosaurs and makes her happy, why not let her instead of criticize her. If my little boy likes playing with the kitchen toys, why not let him? Sadly it is our own family who criticize the most. As a mother I care for my kids, as a future teacher I care for my future students, I want them to know that before seeing a person’s “gender” we have to understand that we are humans first, as equal as everyone else in this world.

           In conclusion, I believe I understood and became more literate about the LGBTQ once I was able to express myself through the religion of my choice, and again when I became a mother. Like I said, becoming a mother has made me aware of how no matter what my kids think, like or do I will ALWAYS be there for them no matter what to love and support them. Which I believe that’s how it starts, change starts within our own selves, leading into our families. It breaks my heart to see how many people lose their “personhood” just because they can’t identify with either being a girl or boy. “If a body fits into neither category, or crosses gender lines, it loses gender privilege and is assigned the label “it”, thus signaling a loss of personhood” (p.122); as it is stated by Heidenreich (2006). We need more support for communities like these:

                                                

 

References

Heidenreich, L. (2006). Learning from the Death of Gwen Araujo?-Transphobic Racial Subordination and Queer Latina Survival in the Twenty-First Century. Chicana/Latina Studies, 50-86